I Need to Get Out of Here!!!!

I'm getting tired of the same shit but happening every single day. I go to school, go to work, come home, play some video games with my brother then go to bed. Every. Single. Day. I need a change. I don't want to go to school anymore even though I finish this year. I want out of this small ass town. I want to make music all day. I want to be in Seattle, living with my brother. I want a group of friends I see on a regular basis. I just want to live the life I want without a care!!!

As you can tell, I'm in the middle of a mental breakdown and all of you get to witness it. SCORE!!!

I just don't know anymore. Life is getting to the point where it seems meaningless unless you are doing what you love while being around those you love. I live by myself, my social life consists of talking to the people I work with at work, and I don't have time to do any music (which tears me up inside).

Alright, rant is over. Having this outlet is kind of nice because no one I know reads this and I don't have to worry about someone reading these and trying to sit me down and have a talk about how concerned they are.

Remember when we were young and we couldn't wait to grow up?
But now, all grown up, we look back and ask why.

What If?

Have you ever asked yourself the question "What if?" Not for anything specific. Just ask yourself in general and just see what pops up in your head first. .... I have no idea where I was going with that. I should probably go to bed. Hopefully I'll have a better post or maybe I can finish that thought. Would be nice. But you never know what you will seek within your thoughts and dreams. Wow, I really need to go to bed. Night everyone.

Side note: This is just funny

Coheed and Cambria: The Afterman

Hey,

I'm back with only 30 seconds between the two posts :D. As some of you know, my favorite band is Coheed and Cambria. They just recently released their latest album The Afterman: Ascension. This is part one of two for this album. The regular album is pretty awesome. Domino definitely reminds me of music from  the In Keeping Secrets album. I have mainly been listening to the Demo album that was released with the pre-order of their Deluxe Box. Eight of their songs are demos from the actual album and the ninth song is a demo of a song that was not release. I have found the demo album to be the best of the two. It is a bit more raw than the studio album and it allows you to hear the power and emotion of each song. This is an album you want to by.

The Afterman: Ascension- 5 out of 5

The Afterman: Ascention Demos- 6 out of 5

Another Fun Day

Hey guys,

Welcome back after a month of reading the same crap over and over again. I have been extremely busy lately with classes and work. Never thought it would be this tough to balance the two.

Yup, that's it for this post :P

It Only Takes One Comment....

It's interesting how I just shut down when I'm pissed and around people. When I'm alone, I yell, cuss, throw shit and put holes in doors, walls and other stuff. But when I'm around people, I stop being myself. I stop talking, I don't make any jokes, I smile when people ask me stuff, and I'm only nice when I have to be like dealing with customers. I even shut down around my family which is even worse because they know when I do and they always ask "what's the matter?" But what makes it even worse, I never want to talk about it. I keep it bottled up. I have about 10 years of bottled up anger that has never really been expressed and I don't really know how to. I just beat myself up inside until I see how hurt I am and then minutes later, act like nothing is wrong. I'm not sure if that's healthy but it's a process. A comment was made today towards me and I heard them say it. I was pissed and shut down. It took me three hours to finally be able to smile but I still feel wounded from my own torture. And I will wake up tomorrow and act like nothing happened.

That rant was actually kind of therapeutic....maybe. I don't know. Thanks though for listening.

Bazinga

Hey guys, I'm back from my trip home for my mom's birthday. It was a lot of fun. We went to a park and rode the swings then went to the casino and lost a ton of money :P

On another note, The Big Bang Theory season 5 came out today so I went and bought it. Unfortunately, Fred Meyers didn't have the Blu-Ray version and I really didn't want to wait until I could get it so I bought the DVD version.... a little disappointed but the show is still funny as hell.

I also pre-ordered the new Coheed and Cambria album The Afterman. It comes out October 9th and I must say, a month is just too long to wait. I am a child among the fence.

I will have a review for both once I finish looking through them.

Posting From My Phone

Gotta love technology. Of ourse, my phone is a little slow so this post will be a bit short. Wow, I've never typed so slow before :P. So the studio move is coming along nicely. Once it is all done, I'll be locked away for days....ah crap, I have work. Maybe I'll call in sick (if anyone from work reads this, it was a joke :D). I also want to sit down with a friend's boyfriend and work on a track together. The guy is a pretty good DJ. 

Alright, well this was my first and last post using my phone. What would have taken 2 minutes to type, took 10. It's driving me nuts! 

Plus side: can't upload a picture from my phone. Oh what joy!!!

Here We Go Again!

So I start back at work tomorrow after being gone for almost a week due to an illness. I have to say, not working kind of sucks. I'm not use to it and it gets boring. I did however start moving my music equipment into my second bedroom. Turning that room into my studio. Can't wait for everything to be set-up and for me to start working on new tracks. I need some new stuff to show to a DJ I know. Hopefully he will like them and be willing to play them at the next party. The only thing I need to do now is clean up the rest of my room so I can move my desk over and then find someone to help me move the desk (the thing ways a ton). I wonder if it will fit through the door built........ I'll figure that out tomorrow. Once everything is done, I'll be posting up some pics.

Other than that, not much else is going. Today was an Electronic music filled day, just like every other day. I went a different route with my music. Instead of using Spotify, I found a playlist on 8track.com. The playlist has 128 tracks. That is almost 9 hours of electronic music. Here is the link: http://8tracks.com/roargasmdotcom/128-tracks-shit From the 3 hours that I have played, it seems to be a great playlist to use at a party if no one has any good music on their iPods or phones.

Now let's see how awkward this makes you:

Blackmill Review

If you like Electronic music, you should really check out Blackmill. The music is really calm and great if you are in a chill mood or working on homework. Reach for Glory is a great album but his best is Miracle. I am definitely looking forward to the next album.

I give Blackmill a 5 out of 5

For those of you using Spotify, you will have to scroll down a bit through the "Appears On" section to find the Miracle album.

Here is a video of the song Let It Be feat. Veela

Let's Get To This

WOO!!! Two posts in two days. Success!!!

Now, let's get to the point. I've had another idea for a short film. This one is not as crazy as my "Russians invading" movie idea. Actually, it's a pretty simple and calm concept. This guy is walking home from class and this girl passes him. He looks at her while not being able to see her face and tries to picture what this girl looks like. After a couple of weeks and the same girl passing him everyday, he gets the nerve to tap her on the shoulder and say hi. What she actually looks like was completely different than what he thought but still thought of her to be the most beautiful girl he has ever met. They chat for a little bit and then she goes home. The next day, she doesn't pass him on his way home. He wonders why but not really sure what to think. A week goes by and she still hasn't passed him...... that's about as far as I have gotten. It may seem a little bland but it's suppose to be. It's a story about a guy who meets a girl. Not every one of those stories ends in aliens attacking the planet or some crazy ass night trying to find a band. It can be simple but still special.

I'm not sure how to start this

A couple of years ago, I tried blogging. I only posted three times. I also tried vlogging but only posted a couple of videos. The most popular one was a camping trip to RimRock Lake. I would have liked to do more blogs or vlogs but I wasn't sure what to do. To be honest, I still don't know but I'm starting to think this is more for me. I want to be able to write about whatever is on my mind. It could be a critique on something or something simple like telling what happened that day. I like to think of myself as a simple person but with a complicated head. I have ideas and thoughts that I want to get out but don't know to do it. So lets start off with something simple:

Little over a year ago, I had this idea of a screenplay. The idea came to me when I had just finished a run through of Modern Warfare 2. The idea was about two guys who live together and one day Russians invaded the country and the two guys turned into ghosts. Not real ghosts but a two man strike team who took out the enemy invaders one by one. I know it sounds like MW2 meets Red Dawn but the picture I'm creating in my head is a bit cooler. I've even toyed with the idea of turning the idea into a web series to be featured on YouTube. My main problem, I don't know how to get the picture in my head onto paper.

I've been thinking about this idea a lot lately since I haven't been working due to an illness. Hopefully, I can finally do something about it. Maybe, actually start writing something down on paper. Get some character ideas, scenarios, etc.

This is my problem, I'm a simple person with a complicated head. I want to do a lot of things but I don't know how to go about doing them. Along with this screenplay, I want to become a DJ, make electronic music people want to hear over and over again, release an album, travel to England, find the girl of my dreams, and there are tons more. Maybe, I'm just thinking to much about the thought and not enough on the process, or maybe I'm not focused enough. Who knows, but what I do know is that I have a list of things I want to do before I die and I'm damn sure gonna finish it.